Joyce Shafer

Every Fear Hides A Wish



Posted: Sunday, February 10, 2008

by Joyce Shafer

This title is a line of dialogue from a movie I recently watched. I shared it with a friend who emailed back, "What does THAT mean?"

I suppose it could mean we wish the opposite of what we're afraid of were true instead. If we fear instability in some area of our lives, perhaps we wish security in this matter was etched in stone so we never had to think about it again.

It could mean we're in denial. Someone once said we only criticize when we feel restricted. Criticism stems from fear. Or, we might fear something or someone because we recognize that an aspect we see in them or it exists within us. Maybe we don't believe we can properly manage that aspect, so we impose fear on ourselves to keep in line.

Days, or even years, could be spent identifying fears and wishes and we'd never cover all of them, mostly because we'll always be able to come up with new ones. As intriguing as it is for me to play with this, I asked myself, "But, where should this go from here?"

Eliminating a fear (or managing it) is something we can develop inner tools for. Making wishes become realities is also something we can do if we apply ourselves at the inner and outer levels. So what would be the next step in considering this?

In my opinion, I think ultimately we want to feel strong. We want to feel a level of self-trust in that fears and wishes are matters we readily address but perhaps differently than we may have before.

Self-trust and security have a partnership. Security, as much as we'd like it to be an outer experience, is really an inner one. Everything changes; and that can rattle our sense of security pretty darn fast. However, when our sense of it comes from within, change might stir (or roil) the waters, but we know we can restore inner balance by pulling from the strong foundation of who we know ourselves to be. When we have a defined level of self-trust, we know we can manage ourselves through any gust or gale. Our self-trust is our security.

Perhaps the next time you feel a fear, look for which wish accompanies it. Ask yourself how you truly want to feel about the matter. Then ask yourself what stops you from feeling that way now. You may quickly realize the only thing that stops you is that you made a different choice. You can give yourself permission to feel the way you wish to feel, no matter what.

Try it. Watch what happens in your life as a result.

Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru" and other books/ebooks, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles and free downloads. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com

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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)
» left by James P Krehbiel
 4 years 107 days ago.
124 fans.
Joyce, Nicely done. I believe that courage can be defined as moving forward in a positive direction in spite of terror. Those who wait in avoidance for fear to diminish, usually stay put in the comfort zone. Thank you for your insights.
» left by 4 years 107 days ago.
Thank you, James. Very nice to meet you. Joyce
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